Friendships I've ended

This year I have lost or ended a few important friendships. And they hurt, but the pain the friendships were causing was greater.

I blogged about the friend who verbally attacked me while driving in my car in March. I have not heard one word from her. I took my inventory on that event, and found I had absolutely no part. I would have welcomed her apology, and to be honest, I thought for sure she would reach out to me when my mother died. She did not. Her sponsor and I are close, and of course she knew of my moms death. I have now decided that I will not welcome her friendship again.

Kenny Rogers sang "Know when to fold 'em". For me, I did not let go of relationships easily at all. I placed my emotional well being in them, which is why I stayed married too long. I did not have a self unless I was attached to someone else's self. Not so today.

The other friendship I have chosen to end is a man I was very close with over the last year. He is a ""Dry" addict, however, he drinks, but he thinks thats ok. Though he hasnt attended NA meetings in over 7 years, he still considers himself a member when he would share in al-anon meetings. I say this here not to disparage him (and since I wont state his name, that is impossible), but to lay the background to the thought process of this man. An addict in denial, attending al-anon, yet not work the steps or use a sponsor, which means he is quite at odds. He has basically stopped coming to al-anon, and as a result, has been a shitty friend. Every now and then he might call, or return a call and sound wonderful. He called me a few times when my mom was dying, but was a no show at her funeral. What made that worse, was the half assed email he left saying "I was going to go, but something came up and I wasnt in the area". Huh? Can you be more specific than that? Anyhow, it hurt quite a lot. I have seen his half measured excuses for the last 8 months or so, and I have decided I am done. Since my mothers death, i am realizing how how precious life is and I just dont have time for half measured people. I am trying my hardest to be a "full measured" person in all my relationships and I sure as hell deserve the same in return.

As you can see, my "give a damn" is still busted. :)