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Friday, June 26, 2009

Getting honest

Jackson and I went to the "Ask it basket" meeting at our usual AA room. People write down questions on a small piece of paper about anything related to alcoholism, AA etc. The chairperson reads them, and the group members will reply with their experience on it.

All questions were anonymous, so noone knows who wrote what. The chair read a question asking why people attend meetings, if they do not work the steps, arent they miserable?

As soon as he said the last word, arms flew up, ready to reply. One woman who I know slightly, have had a few meals with her in a group of friends, and someone I know suffers from anorexia and who recently relapsed. She shared how all she did was attend meetings, yet was totally miserable, and it was because she was terminally fearful of looking at herself. She couldnt do a 4th step cus she was so afraid of seeing her reality, so she just did the "not drink" part of the program, and not bother with the "Other stuff" (Ie:steps). She said she just couldnt get real. Get honest.

Her share answered a lot of questions for me. Reinforced what I know to be true. The alcoholic is not sober. Not happy. Not honest.

As I listened, I just couldnt help but be SO DAMN GRATEFUL that I found God, I found my honesty and I worked the shit out of the 12 steps and went through the horrors of pain that I did, and that I NEVER HAVE TO GO THROUGH IT AGAIN, if I choose to continue to follow this path.

Thank God for people keeping it real for me. THANK GOD!!!!

1 comments:

Prayer Girl said...

Amen!

I don't ever want to go through getting sober again. (Actually, I think I would die. I don't think there is another recovery in me.)

That's why I go to meetings, continue to work the 12 steps, maintain my spiritual condition, and work with others. I keep the memory green.

Thanks for this post.
Prayer Girl