Its been 2.5 months since my beloved Mother died. Its been painful, obviosly. Anger. Frustration. Sadness. Having a very busy summer at work has been a blessing, keeps away the thinking. My broken give a damn is still broken, but not glaring anymore.
I have had good solid detachment from the drunk. Changed Jacksons phone, my email, and very soon my work phone will be changed. It feels good to be free. The struggle, however, is to stay free, a day at a time. Its not if the alcoholic will find out my phone number, but if I GIVE it to him. Ha! My mind can come up with any number of very real reasons to give it to him. The disease does that. Great ideas is what we call them over here. But it isnt going to happen....today. Thats all I got, today.
Im focusing more and more on solution, not the drunk, the problem, or how he is gonna change and get sober. At this very moment, I could care less. This is Jacksons final year of high school, I want to enjoy every single moment with him. I want to have this year be filled with laughter, freedom, joy and peace. A tall order, huh?
A day at a time. Fake it til I make it. Just for today. Great sayings, guys.
Keep coming back, I will if YOU will.
ICU Nurse it is
2 years ago
2 comments:
GRRL, I like your ATTITUDE! At least for today. I'm sober with you.
Also though, I'm working that "entire psychic change" thing in the Doctor's Opinion AA Big Book.
That's what I really need....
I like focusing on the solution. It is better than focusing on the problem which leaves me stuck.
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