Real words from a real alcoholic. What every family member of a drunk wishes to hear:
"I have been sober for 20 months through AA (steps, meeting, sponsor). I have to be very patient & gentle with my wife. All those years of hurt do not go away simply because I quit drinking. I'm still dealing with this issue today. But on the positive side, my wife is learning to trust me again and she does love me.
In early recovery, I think action speaks louder than words. I keep my wife updated on my challenges & progress and I reasure her that the drinking was not because of her. She also cannot comprehend why I would go on multiple day binges, like I had some kind of choice after I started drinking. I am trying to explain to her what I was going through. Not making excuses...just explaining my reality back then. It was not her fault.
I don't know what the future holds for my family but I do have hope. And in the end, all I can do is keep trying."
ICU Nurse it is
2 years ago
2 comments:
You did not ask for my opinion, but I'm giving it to you anyway:
No amount--or years--of explanation by YOU will ever convince your wife about alcoholism, whose fault. or not, etc.
YOU may not even realize that SHE has the same disease, alcoholism, because it is a WE disease, its tentacles reach outward in all directions from the drinking alcoholic, to all those with whom he has contact, especially family members and coworkers.
In Alanon, she will find those answers, which will be forever lacking in your own feeble attempts.
Just as you and I need people who "understand" our illness, so does SHE need peeps who understand, and can therefore help HER--It is up to her, and not you.
Sorry if I sound short, been a long day--tired, but I wanted SOMEONE to get these words to you.
PEACE, bro.....
It sounds as if the words are sincere. However, I also know that expectations of an alcoholic got me every time. So I lowered my expectations dramatically. That helped me to not look to the future but to stay in the day.
Post a Comment