Few weeks ago, Jackson and I went to lunch on a Sunday. He made a cute remark when he was done eating, saying "Mommy, your family wants to leave". I giggled, but inside it made me sad because he and I are the only 2 people who make up our family.
He used to have a father. He is a drunk and walked out of us 6 years ago. Though I had divorced him 3 years prior, we remained a family *unit*. Then he decided to drink again. And drug. And everything else that follows. He left us to live the life he wanted.
He took his parents, and siblings, neices, nephew. He disparaged me, and therefore they all hated me. And Jackson. None of his family members have ever made any attempt to contact Jackson in any form. I called. I emailed them. Nothing. Amputated out of the family I had been in for 23 years. Jackson for 12 years.
Thats what alcoholics do to their family.
So Jackson and I created out own family. Al-anon members are a large part of it, AA too. My siblings are not. Typical children of alcoholics, we disbanded, though not out of anger, just out of necessity.
So, today Jackson and I have each other and God. I love my boy and he loves me and THAT is alot more than many many people. I have to always remind myself of that.
ICU Nurse it is
1 year ago
3 comments:
This post is touching. Sad, and yet happy, and you have done well, Mom!
Love and PEACE!
Prayers for you, your son and the alcoholic/addict, and families.
I'm glad that you and Jackson are a unit. The sickness of alcoholism leaves a trail of sadness in its wake.
It sounds like a lot of pain there. It also sounds as though you're not fully accepting of alcoholism as a disease. I'll be forever grateful to have had a sponsor who started me at that point, with a deep and thorough study of the AA Big Book. Without it, I would still be in such pain and suffering over my resentments against the alcoholics in my life. How truly blessed I am.
Keep coming back!
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