Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Bondaries- Firm and solid

I was insulted by a recovering friend today. Its happened before, hiding behind a "joke". Hey! We always joke. Yeah, we do. But insults are not jokes no matter how much you want to hide behind them.Its not the first insult, but its the first one I refuse to minimize and over look.

Half assed apologies, while laughing on my voicemail inflame the insult further. Saying " Are you going to make me suffer more by not accepting my amends" ha ha ha ha, tells me your motive for making amends is to relieve YOUR guilt, and not a sincere desire to relieve MY pain or make right what you made wrong. All about you.

The alcoholic apology. Sad to come from someone with a lot of time. Time doesnt meant shit.

So in case this person is reading my blog, as sometimes does, this is my response to your insult and your insulting "amends".

I choose to be friends who people who lift me up, not shit on me. My boundary, firm and solid.

Update:Shortly after posting this, he called again, leaving another message. Im having cell phone probs, and it went directly to the voicemail, just like the other call, didnt even ring. This time he says this is his 3rd attempt at making amends, and he only GIVES 3 tries, and thats it. Isnt that so generous of him, to give ME 3 attempts, 3 whole pieces of his time to me??? Wow....what ever did I do to deserve 3 WHOLE ATTEMPTS? So, apparently I am required to accept his amends within an hour of his insult, or within the 3 amend-a-tempts or else Im shit outta luck.

It must be his world, I think I"ll step out of it.

PS...hey friend, stop reading my blog. Thank you.


Ms Hen said...

Let him read it......who cares..

Just keep the focus on YOU... :)

I learned that in Al-Anon... don't worry what he is doing or not doing.. (just my humble opinion).

Syd said...

It sounds as if he doesn't understand what an amends is: a change in behavior and a way to do God's will in keeping his side of the street clean. It's not about whether the other person accepts the amends or not. This sounds like more of an apology to me, not an amends.