Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Sponsee taken hostage by herself

Hadn't heard from my Santa Barbara relocated sponsee in a week or so. Bad sign. Always the same sign. Not since she told me about her jumping into a new relationship with a woman who had just broken up with her roommate, the same day she met her. Literally, one day out of the relationship, this woman jumps into it with my sponsee.

Sponsee says it "feeeeellllssssss sooooooo gooooddddd", we are "Sooooo connected".


I call and text her this week few times, with the last text asking if she feel into the sicka byss again. She finally calls. Resurface for a nice butt kicking lecture.

I give the same E.S.H. I give anytime I hear the quacking of codependent addiction. But I could just hear it floating listlessly off into space. "How man meetings you make in last 7 days"..answer: none.

Ok, Houston, we have a problem. Her tone ov voice was low and filled with shame. I gave her my best sponsor lingo, even asked her to commit to going to a meeting tonight. No can do, or no WONT do. Said she didnt want to go, even tho she should go, but wanted to go back to the womans home to watch a recording session. (Woman is a song writer, cute huh?) Unfortunately, I see only sad songs in the near future.

So, I gave it my all, and said goodbye. In the hour or so after, I kept getting ideas that I should text her something uplifting, inspirational. HA! I wanted to FIX her. I wanted to say something SO PROFOUND that it would make her go get sober.

Now the disease is after ME!!!!!! What did I do? Im just sitting here with a bad ass back ache, squatting over a heating pad for Gods sake. Why you attacking me? Cus that what it does.

After 3 times of picking up my phone to send the text, I put it down each time (One is too many, a thousand is never enough) and I let her go. I send her to God, she has choices, and the two of them can work it out.


Syd said...

I've learned to let the sponsees go. I can't control what they do. I share my E, S, and H. That's it. They have a HP and I'm not it. Good post. And great way that you handled the situation.