The junkie just cant surrender

When faced with more court time because of failure to pay child support, medical insurance, college plan, the junkie just comes out swinging. Threatening to take me to court to modify his financial obligations. Yeah. Sure. THAT'S the solution.

Deadbeat. Junkie. Drunk.

The by products of WRONG living. Always making friends with this strategy.Spreading love.

And not even bothering to call your son on Thanksgiving. After all. He is just your child.

Put more effort into lowering your financial obligations than to tell your son Happy Thanksgiving.That you love him. That youre sorry for all the pain. Nope. Need the energy to be a dead beat.

The junkie just can't surrender.

And no one is surprised.

some days, I am still amazed

Coming home from a college fair tonight I worked for my school, I thought of all the students Ive recruited who dont have fathers. Typically they are poor, live in poverty driven neighborhood, black. Typical stereotype we see on tv. And then there is my Jackson:

White
Middle class
suburb, quality neighborhood.

Yet is fatherless. Today, I am as dumbstruck as I was 6 years ago when the drunk just bailed out on us. Some days I wake up to my reality and just C-A-N-N-O-T believe that a man I loved for 23 years walked out on my child. His child. HIS BELOVED CHILD.

And to this day, claims sobriety, and yet has never taken a 9th step, never repaid the stolen money, never even apologized, never taken any steps to rebuild the relationships HE DESTROYED. Do you know what this means?

It means the family disease of alcoholism is trying to reach back into my soul and steal my recovery by implanting denial into my consciousness. OF COURSE I can believe this shit happens to well off white people!!! What am I....stupid?

No....just affected. Yes, Virginia, it happens to us, to him, to anyone.

And it sucks.