Sunday, June 21, 2009

Father's Day

My long time friend and service sponsor just called to wish me Happy Fathers Day.
That touched me so. I am Jackson's only parent and I appreciate the acknowledgement. This is a tough day, more so for him, Im sure. But in this blog I dont want to talk about his, or my pain. I want to talk about his fathers pain.

I shared in my home group yesterday that I felt today would be a hard day for the alcoholic. Wake up to a day that many people are calling their Dad's, sending gifts, taking them out to lunch. And, of course, that is not happening for this man. Im sure it hurts him. Im certain it does. I am also certain that it doesnt hurt him enough to do anything to change the cause and conditions of why.

I dont think he reads my blog anymore, so it doesnt matter if he reads this or not. Remember, my *give a damn* is busted. The big book tells us that pain is the touchstone of growth. Unfortunately, alcoholics tolerance for pain is quite high. So whats my message in this posting today. I wish I could say Im sorry for the way the alcoholic must be feeling today, but Im not. Its of his own making and Im sorry for the way MY SON must be feeling today.

The message is simply I acknolwedge that alcoholics feel pain, even if they take no responsibility for their part in it. It jst must suck to feel the way he does. I am lucky that I have found God and the 12 steps that turned my life into the blessing that it is today.


Syd said...

This is a very real glimpse into the pain of the alcoholic and those who live around him/her. It is truly sad.