Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Turmoil, perfectionism

Still having a difficult time not working this week. Went to 2 meetings yesterday, shared it at one, and still feeling anxiety at not working to get new students this week.

My boss keeps emailing to find out how my week has gone, ie: did you enroll any new students, EVER THOUGH I am permitted the week off, having met my commitments. I don't think he means anything by it, just trying to shore up his end of year numbers, and I am SURE its all about my inability to say "Hey, no Im not working cus you said we didnt have to, rememberm and I deserve some time off cus I hade a great year, remember?"

Oh why do we have to be grown ups EVERY day?

I am probably going to call some kids today to see what I can do for tomorrow, or the weekend, Not the end of the world, it will help me get started for January....

Im such a wuss. Just goes to matter how many years I recover, I will always have these challenges.....recovery is not cure.

Other than this, Im having a FABULOUS day here at 9:10am, EST. Of course, I have not even gotten outta bed yet.....

thats the next step.

Happy December 30th everyone!!


Syd said...

Sounds like a good topic to write about--perfectionism. It was one we discussed at last night's meeting. There were some interesting viewpoints.