Oh God....thank you for the 3rd step

Man...Im so grateful to God. And that I remembered to say my morning prayers while driving to work, in loud distracting traffic.

Tonight, Im on way home from Publix, with Jackson, tired, wanting to go to bed. I get a text from a *band-aid* Al-anon friend. "Can u talk"?. What was my first reaction you ask?

"NO!" You didnt come to my mothers funeral, as you promised! You dont come to meetings, even though your life is totally farked up living with a stalking, obsessive drunk to beat all drunks of a husband". "So, NO, you dont get my phone call".

So of course I text her back saying "Yes. Call". HA! It only took me a few seconds to spew my poop. Took God even less than that to work that miracle inside my mind. After I silently vent, the thought hit me "Thats GODS thoughts infiltrating my angry Al-Anon mind :)". Anyhow, the thought says " She's probably in a crisis. She probably needs some 12 stepping". And I was right.

Long story short. The drunk got her car shot up, blood on seat with a nice size hole ripped in the leather. Car-jacking attempt, says he. More like a visit to the crack house gone wrong. She is terrified, hiding in her bedroom, on the floor. Thinking a drug dealer is coming to attack her house, cus the car is out front. I have not heard terror like that in a long time from anyone.

I listened, then I went in for the "kill" as they say. Help her see HER part in the terrorism she is choosing to live in. Tried to introduce her to "reality" of the yets as they are quickly entering her life. Gave her tough love, then followed up with hope. The most important aspect of 12 stepping. Shared my E,S,H on how I acquired hope, and peace, and freedom. I could hear the relief, her voice soften, he fear to relax. She promised to go to a meeting and her shrink tomorrow. I asked her to promise to call me at the end of the day to tell me that she did.

When I hung up, I thanks God over and over again, for LETTING me do HIS will. For not attaching myself to my ANGRY will and to swallow my ego and call her.

No matter WHAT happens to her, GOD helped me in my emotional sobriety tonight and for that I am ETERNALLY GRATEFUL!!!

Feeling better, thank you God

On Thursday when my back pain was peaking up, Jackson suggested I call my doctor the next day for help.

"Aw, whats she gonna do for me" I said. "Just have to sit this out". Yeah, Im always so right on things concerning my well being. I honestly believed no good would come from calling for help.

And then I called the doctor. For help. Next morning, the pain was at its worst, so I call, not believeing shed order drugs over the phone. Many hours later, the med asst calls back and tells me she is ordering me drugs....over the phone. Ha! What do I know, I mean really. The 3rd step I took (More than once) tells me to stop trying to run my life. Well, to my credit, I acted in faith by calling and asking for a muscle relaxant, specifiying nothing narcotic. And thats what I got. Flexeril. DId my homework, felt it was a typical muscle relaxant, not addictive and wouldnt make me feel high.

When I got it home, I read some more on it, and whoops! find its part of the valium family and IS addictive. Ah crap. Im not a drug addict but I am a relationship addict, and addiction is all over my family. I know enough about the disease to know that I can fool myself 2 weeks from now as Im popping them like candy, and say "But im in pain!!".

So I take one at 5pm. The pain is less sharp, and definitely feeling better. 50% better or so. Alright, this stuff rocks. Til 9pm. Im thinking I should take another one so that I will wake up pain free, especially cus I had to take Jackson to his tuba lesson and didnt want to let him down by still being in pain. Seriously, I spoke to myself several times about whether or not I should take the 2nd one. Jacksons suggests I take the medication EXACTLY AS PRESCRIBED ON THE BOTTLE! Ah what does he know, little twit.

So, what did I do?

Took his suggestion. No 2nd pill. Went to bed, woke up much better. Still was painful to drive him to the lesson, but luckily the theater has a comfy sofa upon which I laid out while he blew his horn.

I have not taken any more pills, just the one. Thank you God for the wisdom you gave me and my son.